I struggle without you...

Your life ended on 05/02/98. Worse day of my life & nothing can ever top it. People see me as a grown woman, an adult, but they fail to realize that I was only 18, when you were murdered & ripped out of my life. I really had no other dreams, but to graduate from high school, finally live with you & the twins, & for us to move away from all the drama in our family & what came along with living in East Chicago, IN.  They also fail to realize living with you was a dream of mine. I remember you sitting on the bed & being at my eye level as I stood up on the bed & we counted on my fingers how many years it would be before I could live with you, since your parents adopted me & would raise me. Our family fails to remember my cries of suicide. You were the one thing I told myself I would live for. You became my reason for living. I always thought you were safe. For the most part you had the twins with you everywhere you went, had a heart of gold, you had daily visits to grandma's house, you weren't involved in gangs, drugs, you know that street life that could bring death or jail.......my life is a daily struggle & I still cry for you!